How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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