I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
