He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
