i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize