Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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