If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
