it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
