My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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