Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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