there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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