I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
