If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Welp...herpes.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
