did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
