I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Randomize
