If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
So here I am, sexting at work.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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