I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize