At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize
