DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I need moral support for this bender
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
