Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
