We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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