gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
