I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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