ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
