me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
