girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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