That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
