so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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