i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
