I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
