I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
