I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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