I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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