You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
