Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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