Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
