You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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