You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
