you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
