So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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