I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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