Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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