im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
