billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
