The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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