3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
