My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
