his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
