Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize