you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
