he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
