what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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