Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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