normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
