idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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