she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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