So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
