So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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