Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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