I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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