I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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