You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
