summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
