i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
