A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
