how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
