are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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