Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
