I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
