do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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