She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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